How it started and how it's going... Learning to look within for answers

I remember sitting on a boat gliding over the most beautiful lake in Thailand as a young 20 something. (see picture below)

I had just felt the most free and happy I’d ever been but suddenly, in this beautiful scenery on this perfect day, a painful memory came up. I couldn’t shake it off. The more I tried, the more miserable I felt, and I realized something very important: 

If I couldn’t be happy in the most perfect circumstances… then maybe I had to change something within myself instead.

On the same day I decided to attend a ten day Vipassana meditation retreat at a Buddhist monastery. It opened up a whole new world for me and marked a new beginning in my life. 

The exact day when I decided to learn how to meditate instead of going to a full moon party that was happening at the same time.

I have been practicing yoga and meditation for nine years now. My practice kept changing and evolving as I started teaching and went through life with all its ups & downs. 

Yoga helped me overcome the past and create a new life many times. It helped me release stuck emotions and thought patterns. It healed heart break and trauma. It gave me the necessary strength and inner calm to take several leaps of faith. I wouldn’t be here without these practices. 

However, a few years ago I felt disillusioned by a lot of what was happening in the yoga world. I ended up in a spiritual crisis where I almost felt like throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Somewhere along the line I had started to get too fixated on the rules of how to do yoga & meditation and now saw myself trapped in dogma.

It dawned on me that I had given away the responsibility of my spiritual journey to my teachers and mentors. While I am still grateful for everything I learned from them I realized that following a teacher/guru/mentor or do one training after the the other for the rest of my life just wasn’t for me. 

When the student is ready the teacher will appear. When the student is really ready… the teacher will disappear.

- Tao Te Ching

All of this forced me to reevaluate everything I thought I knew about yoga & meditation and come back to a beginners mindset. I started to simplify things and try out new ways. I let go of needing to do things in a rigid traditional way and instead decided to put my lived experience of what worked best for me and my students above all theory. 

During this time I reconnected to my intuition & heart and, since I felt like I had no-one to ask anymore, I started listening more within to find answers to my questions. It was a difficult but ultimately empowering process.

I now trust myself and my inner guidance a whole lot more. Not just when it comes to questions about (teaching) yoga & meditation, but also when making any important decision in life. 

You can change using meditation

What you think & feel all day long matters…

It defines who you are and what kind of life you’ll get to live. If you want to change your life, you got to start with yourself. Meditation can be your biggest alley. Here’s how I do it.

Sometimes it can feel like we have no choice over what we think and how we feel.

To some degree that is true. Our thoughts tend to repeat over and over until they form beliefs. Feelings get stuck in the body and we get so used to them, we barely notice how stressed out we really are.

Nothing changes until we DECIDE to be real honest with ourselves and look that fear, resentment, frustration, guilt, hopelessness… or whatever it is… into the eyes and say  “Enough… I’m done feeling this way. Done thinking that way. This is not who I want to be any longer”.

Here’s why it matters.

Waiting for circumstances to change so you can feel better may just never happen for you but deciding to feel better REGARDLESS of your current situation or your past is most definitely going to change things for you. 

I know it is hard.

It’s like turning a big ship 180 degrees when it is already at full speed. It takes a lot of energy to stop the momentum and shift direction but it is possible and, quite frankly, super empowering when you take things into your own hand and expect more for yourself. 

How I use meditation to do it these days:

1. I sit down and acknowledge how I’m feeling and become aware of the type of thoughts that are running through my mind. (Big win to not allow those thoughts to run wild and unnoticed for once! Great, if you can soften and allow your feelings instead of suppressing them)

2. I decide to not feed and follow my thoughts any longer / not give them more energy. I take my attention off my little world, off my personal reality. Now my nervous system calms down and with it my mind.

3. I drop deeper and connect to that aspect of myself beyond my current personality - to my heart and pure consciousnesses. It feels expansive, blissful, and nourishing. (This doesn’t always happen and it may take you a while to get there too. That’s ok. Keep going.) 

4. Now is the perfect time to become aware of old beliefs and replace them with new ways of thinking and feeling. I like to end my meditations with feeling gratitude - even for things that haven’t happened yet. 

Do this daily, even just step 1, and you’ll change your state of Being. 

What happens next is super important

You can’t lie to yourself. You can’t tell yourself you feel great when that’s simply not the truth. That just won’t work. Thankfully, meditation works like a reset button where you actually get to work through your stuff and feel lighter when you get up. Now that you feel better you can think a little better, which will make you feel a little better so you can think even greater…

Now you’ve got a new momentum going. The downward spiral turned into an upwards spiral and there you are. Making new decisions. Finding reasons to be grateful and in love with life. Feeling creative and ready to change your life.

And it all started with you ❤️

PS: there’s a lot of different kind of meditations I like and even though the one I provided is simple, it doesn’t make it easy. If you need any help, please reach out and ask away :)

Let's talk about emotion

We greatly experience our lifes through our emotions. Gagori and I talk about why it is important to learn to feel our feelings, so that we can heal from our past, overcome patterns and fully enjoy the so-called positive emotions like love and joy.

Gagori Mitra is an Ayurveda practitioner, Ayurveda was passed down to her from her mother. She shares her knowledge in Agonda, Goa, India. Her belief system is that all our diseases are created in the mind and then show up in the physical body. Most of her knowledge comes from her own experience of being sick and healing herself and then guiding students through their emotional journey on their healing path for the past 20 years.

Find Gagori here https://www.aitheinhealing.com/

Detoxing with Ayurveda

Ayurvedic practitioner Gagori Mitra returns to another talk! This time we discuss detoxing, why it is important, when to do it and how.

Gagori Mitra is an Ayurveda practitioner, Ayurveda was passed down to her from her mother. She shares her knowledge in Agonda, Goa, India. Her belief system is that all our diseases are created in the mind and then show up in the physical body. Most of her knowledge comes from her own experience of being sick and healing herself and then guiding students through their emotional journey on their healing path for the past 20 years.

Find Gagori here https://www.aitheinhealing.com/

Balancing the female cycle with Yoga and Ayurveda

Talk with my teacher and friend Gagori about the female cycle and how we can ease and harmonize our menstruation using Ayurveda and Yoga.

Sex, blood and everything in between: the female cycle

Hi, where exactly are you in your cycle right now? :)

Here is why knowing more about your cycle matters and what it means to consciously ride the hormonal changes. I promise this is stuff you haven’t learned at school and oh so helpful!

And if you’re a man, welcome, this is valuable information for you too.

Art by Novraka

Let’s set this straight first.

Or… not?

Our society thinks very linearly. We perceive time including our days and lives as something that has a start, middle and end. This is true to some extend, there is, however, a rhythm to everything and a sense of repetition when it comes to nature. We know that there is a right time for animals to breed, for birds to fly south, there’s the recurring ebb and flow of the ocean and of course the change of the seasons. It all repeats itself in a circle and yet it’s never exactly like it was the year before.

Nature works more like an upward spiral than a ruler or an hourglass. There aren’t straight lines in nature but there are recurring patterns. (Same as with our bodies and lives, don’t you think? ;) )

Our conventional thinking may contradict this but here’s the truth: nature is not something outside of us. We are part of nature. We ARE nature and as women we get to experience what that means even more clearly.

The female cycle is part of the natural ebb and flow of nature. The moon takes about 27 days to orbit the earth and about 29.5 days to complete a whole cycle from new moon to new moon. Many women will bleed around the new moon and ovulate around the full moon or the other way around. (If this get’s you curious, go down the rabbit hole, there’s more to discover when it comes to the moon and our bleeding). 

Our cycle is a circle. Yet women TRY SO HARD to be linear beings. We expect from ourselves to work the same way as yesterday, every day. We think we have to be “consistent”. We think we cannot just rest at home while we’re bleeding.

I’m here to tell you, you can go with natures flow, embrace your female energy instead of fighting it and it’ll increase your wellbeing AND productivity.  

You just gotta know what to focus on at what time…  

The seasons within your menstrual cycle

Let’s go through a full cycle together. I’m not so much talking about your hormonal changes throughout that time but more so how those feel and how you can use them best. For this I’m going to assume you’re not on any hormonal birth control. We’ll talk about that in a bit.

via GIPHY

Spring: The first day after your bleeding has stopped feels like a breeze of fresh air. You feel newborn, your energy is increasing and you’re ready to go out into the world. This is a good time to develop new ideas and start new projects; you’re creative and optimistic.

This is the stage of the girl, full of ideas and dreams looking into the future.

Summer: “I feel like a woman”

via GIPHY

As ovulation approaches you’re on fire! This is the peak of your cycle. You feel hot, you dress sexier, and you feel like you can take on the world. Your self-confidence is contagious. Now is the time to be in the spotlight, to do a presentation, to get sooo much work done. Use that extra energy! And you’ll most likely feel more wet and horny so go and enjoy all the (safe) sex ;)

Autumn: Agh, what happened?? Right after ovulation we experience a bit of a crash. You were flying high and now it feels like you’re on a comedown from all the feel-good hormones of the first half of your cycle. You may feel meh to sad but once you realize what’s going on you can deal with it better. Now you may want to be comfy and cozy;)

via GIPHY

This is not the time to start a new project but a great opportunity to finish what you started. This time is perfect for crossing all the T’s and dotting the I’s and doing things that require a bit of self-discipline and analytical thinking. This season is a bit like a middle-aged woman with more experience.

Winter: Who wants to get old and wrinkly and eventually die? No one?? Ha no wonder so many of us resent our bleeding time too. But, let’s shift our perspective on old age and our period a little, shall we? I’m sure you can think of a grandma who’ll say the truth straight up, no filter, no fear. Ah isn’t that us, when we bleed?

People-pleasing just doesn’t sit right when we’re on our period. Period. ;)

More than that, your winter is when you should channel your inner, old, wise woman! This is a spiritual time with vivid dreams and deeper meditations. I encourage you to go within and rest, especially on the first day of your period.  

Art by autumnskyeart on IG

Maybe you want to journal about the last cycle, see what you need to let go and what you want to bring into the new one. This can be work-related or not. Sit with your feelings. Let the blood cleanse your body from toxins and let it clear your womb from your last relationship and other stagnant energy. This is death and rebirth and yes, that can feel uncomfortable sometimes.

(Oh and while we’re at it... Let’s ditch toxic, unhygienic, uncomfortable tampons and pads and swap to environmentally conscious and leak free mooncups and period panties, ok? It’s 2021 y’all!)

Let’s summarize this.

 The first part of your cycle (follicular phase or spring /summer) feel like an inhaling breath, in which you receive more energy and strength. It is like the waxing moon getting bigger reaching full moon at ovulation.

The second part of your cycle (luteal phase or autumn/winter) is like an exhaling breath, the calming force of letting go, peaking in your bleeding. It is like the waning moon reaching new moon that’s both the biggest letting go and already has the seed for a new beginning in it. Your cycle is magical and brings so many opportunities if you honor and work with it (even if it isn’t linked to the moon).

A word about hormonal birth control

If you are taking the pill or using another form of hormonal birth control you are basically telling your body that it is already pregnant and that is why it won’t produce any ovulation. The ovulation is the peak of our cycle (that’s the ONLY time you’re fertile) and will then lead to a ‘real’ period. When you’re taking hormones you won’t get an ovulation and therefore only experience what’s called withdrawal bleeding.

Art by Robert Kraiza

Track your temperature – know yourself

If you want to get more in touch with your internal female nature, I encourage you to think about alternatives to hormonal birth control. I have chosen the Natural Cycle App and been tracking my temperature for about two years now. I have learned more about the subtle changes in my body, mood and specific wants & needs throughout the cycle than I can fit in this blog. Tracking your temperature as a birth control method is easier and safer than you think but even if you don’t plan to have sex, I encourage you to use it to get to know yourself better. It’s an exciting journey!

Wow, thank you for reading until the end. How does your cycle feel to you? Does what I wrote resonate? If so make sure to show this blogpost to your partner too ;)

Lots of love,

Maria Laura

Why do YOU practice?

Yoga is really powerful, especially when you know what you want out of it.

The first time I discovered the profound effects of yoga, I spent six months using my yoga practice only to ground myself. This gave me the necessary strength to start my business. During the toughest times of the pandemic I practiced pranayama & meditation to create inner stability and optimism. It helped me to not get sucked into a downwards spiral but instead focus on an upward spiral.

During many years of practicing yoga and meditation I found out that…

If you don’t ask yourself the question of why you practice once in a while, chances are your practice will get stale and meaningless over time.

Don’t practice to practice. Don’t practice just so that you can tick something off your to-do list. It’s easy to make your practice part of your identity and somehow have this believe of “I am someone that meditates/ I am a yogi hence why I (have to) practice”.

Your practice in and of itself is NOT the goal.

Being able to do difficult asanas or meditate an hour a day is great but – in my opinion – not the parameter of your spiritual progress. Your life will show the fruits of your practice.

I bet when you began yoga/ breathwork / meditation you started for a reason.

Whether the initial motivation was physical, mental, emotional or spiritual and whether you could put it into clear words or not, there was something that drove you to these practices to start with. Maybe you had issues with your back, wanted to sleep better or feel more present. Maybe it was something less tangible like an inner calling to find out more about your true nature…

Knowing WHY you get onto your yogamat or meditation cushion even when you don’t feel like it makes all the difference.

Start with a clear intention that is relevant to your life right now.

Just as your life changes, so will your needs. What felt nourishing a month ago, may not be what serves you best today.

What practice do you need?

You can let your intuition guide you. Become quiet, put your hands onto your heart and belly and feel into yourself. Then ask “What practice do I need right now?” and see what comes up.

Other times it may be better to answer this a bit more methodically. Here’s how: Get something to write and then reflect on your current situation. How is life right now? Is there anything missing? Is there a goal you want to achieve? What inner resources do you need to improve your quality of life?

Say, for example, you’re feeling unsatisfied in your work life and want to change your career but you are very scared to do so. You may feel like giving up your job would mean losing a sense of stability and come with a lot of uncertainty. You can now create a practice that provides a sense of inner stability and clarity to support you in this time.

Now your practice has a very clear goal and new found meaning. Every time you practice your yoga/breathwork/meditation you get a bit more of that calmness you will need during this transitional time of quitting your job and finding something new.  Once you’ve successfully changed your career (congrats! ;) ) your needs will change again and you can start the process all over. Maybe this time you need a practice to slow down or create more gratefulness in your life.

Sometimes your practice is not about you at all. Your practice can also be a form of devotion to the Divine. This is a wonderful reason to practice but a lot of us simply are not there (yet). We may first need a practice that brings harmony into our lives and supports us where we currently are. This is just as much of a valid reason to practice.

How’s your practice? What do you need in your life right now? Let me know!

Lots of love,

Maria Laura

Podcast with Karina Guthrie

Karina is one of the most inspiring yoga teachers out there. I was very lucky to have had her as one of the main teachers at my latest teacher training at The Practice Bali and now as a guest on this podcast! She is incredibly knowledgable, eloquent and passionate when it comes to yoga and yoga philosophy. Wether you’re new to yoga and want to find out what yoga and tantra is REALLY about and how it works - even off the mat -, or wether you’re a yoga teacher and wonder how to serve your students best longterm… listen to what Karina has to say! It was a delight talking to her and I’m sure, you’ll enjoy it just as much!

Also, follow Karina on Instagram (Karina.Guthrie) for more Yogic wisdom and inspiration!

Podcast with Gagori Mitra

I met Gagori in India and decided to do a massage course with her, which was profoundly healing in many ways. Having Gagori on my podcast was an absolute pleasure! We talked about the body-mind connection, the holistic health system of Ayurveda and her own journey to where she is now, leading many different massage courses at her own school in Agonda, Goa. Lots of knowledge and lots of laughter. Hope you enjoy!

If you want to get in contact with her, check out https://www.aitheinhealing.com/

Podcast with Hannah King

Meet Hannah King, coach and Ayurvedic consultant. Hannah was my mentor for six months and I can honestly say that my personal and professional growth during this time was incredible. Catching up with her on this podcast was an absolute pleasure. We talked about the art of coaching, Ayurveda and the business side of things. If you’re considering going online during the lockdown, you should definitely listen to what she has to stay. Check it out, I’m sure you’ll love it too!

If you want to get in contact with her go to https://kingsmeditationandmentoring.com/

Why Hatha Yoga?

“Do you want to be flexible or do you want to be free?” - Octavio Salvado

Hatha Yoga has been practiced for thousands of years and has been transmitted orally for most of its time. Yet, standing poses are only a few hundred years old and vinyasa-flow-like-classes with postures linked together is a pretty modern concept, maybe 100 years old. So, what is yoga really all about? A good way to understand the depth of this tradition is to look at the pathway ancient yogis developed to progress in hatha yoga. It is an old concept, but it is just as valid and effective today. 

Preparation

The first two steps on the yogic path are purification and strengthening of our system. There is very little in life that can be achieved when sick. It is also almost impossible to meditate when you experience a lot of physical discomfort. The yogis understood that a healthy body is a necessity and the best foundation for further practices.

Health was accomplished through the science of Ayurveda, Indians ancient, holistic medicine system. It involved diet according to one’s type and purification techniques like neti pot (a little pot with salt water used to flush out and clean your nostrils) to keep the body pure. Asanas were used to strengthen the body and to sweat out toxins. This is where a lot of discipline and willpower can be formed which has an empowering effect on the journey ahead. Many yoga asanas focused on the internal organs and the digestion system, hence why most postures were seated and little occupied about stretching the hamstrings.

Moon

The moon is a metaphor for the mind. Just as the moon is always changing so is our mood, our emotions and thoughts. Our perception of the world is very much shaped by the condition of our mind. If we have a stable mind, we will be able to perceive reality a lot clearer while also fully allowing any emotions and sensations to run through our system.

In this stage yoga deals with the calming and stabilizing of the mind. Holding postures for a longer period, forward folds and a focus on the exhalation have a calming effect on the nervous system. A good moon yoga practice prepares for meditation. During this phase of yoga and meditation we can start to look within and to become aware of the patterns, childhood stories and conditioning that are holding us back and are clouding our perception of the world.

Calming is the first step; stabilizing is the second step of our moon practice. It is more difficult to stay stable when circumstances aren’t great than it is to get calm in a yoga class. You know you’re ready for the next step, when difficulties aren’t throwing you off balance as much and you don’t feel the need to react on every emotion and impulse anymore. This is what the next quote refers to.

 “Once the moon has been made steady, the sun can be made to rise” – Hatha Pradipika

Sun

If we would look at our environment with an electron microscope, we would discover that most of what we experience as dense matter exists of space and energy. The first stage of sun practice is dawning of higher perception. In this stage we become aware of what lies beyond what our senses can perceive, which is - as we know today - only a small fraction of reality.

Without sun, life wouldn’t exist on this planet. Plants rely on sunlight for their photosynthesis which sustain all animal and human life. The sun is always there and always shining even if we don’t see it. The force that keeps our system alive is called Prana in the yogic tradition. In order to live an extraordinary life, we need a lot of Prana. That is why the next stage of sun practice is called expansion. Backbends, laterals, Bandhas and a focus on the inhale work on increasing and directing Prana.

A word of caution. Just as the sun shines on everything and doesn’t differ between good and bad, so does Prana. It will increase all aspects of you, your strengths but also your insecurities and other aspects that aren’t desirable.

Fire

“Om Agni Me Pa. - I meditate on the fire”, that is the opening of the Rig Veda, the oldest yogic text. The last step is called illumination. Ag means moving forward, to overcome darkness and lethargy. Agni means that which moves me into my full power and capacity. This is where you wake up to the revelation that life is sacred and experience everything as a non-dual reality. The more you advance in traditional Hatha Yoga, the more internal it gets. Fire practice contains energy locks called bandhas, more work with the breath, mantras and more.

“Always take the moon with you” - motto at The Practice, my yoga school

What serves you best?

Yoga should always be grounded and never become a form of spiritual bypassing. By looking at your everyday life off the mat you can evaluate how well your yoga practice is serving you and what type of yoga - moon, sun or fire - is best for you at any specific time.